Fear No More

I can distinctly remember the day when my Dad got diagnosed with LIVER CIRRHOSIS and HEPATITIS B at a very advanced stage. He was hospitalized immediately and put through various tests. We would have relatives and others visiting him regularly. A week passed by and there was no signs of improvement to his health. The Doctors also cautioned us that it was a contagious disease and we were advised to wear masks and gloves while serving food, water or medicine and wash our hands every time we nurse him. As the news spread, the number of visitors lessened and even though me, my Mom and my brother tried our best to pretend before dad that everything was alright, we could still sense the feeling of insecurity engulfing within him every day.

Meantime, my final exams for Graduation were nearing and I would barely be able to pick up my books for studies. Life seemed to have come to a halt, when one fine day we had a visitor, who seemed like a breath of fresh air. He was one of Dad’s best friends, a Professor, who was out of town and rushed to the hospital, the moment he came back and heard the news of dad’s ailment. Like others, we advised him to stay outside the hospital room and avoid any physical contact with dad. But he was a person who would get things done in his own way and before we could react, he suddenly got inside the room. Needless to say, my dad was very happy to see him. He was the only visitor who behaved normally to him and chatted with him for hours. He inquired about my exam dates and convinced me to carry my books to the Hospital and study while dad was asleep.

His visit brought a positive vibes among us. While leaving, he uttered something that made us spell bound. He said that if doctors never discriminate a patient for his disease then why should we? It’s true that we love our patient but not his disease. We should take precaution but not by creating fear in the mind of the patient.

I listened to his words motionless and still. I thought for a moment about the doctors giving dad injection and the nurses who kept making regular visits. Ever since we stopped wearing gloves but continued to wash hands after each service. After that day, I brought books with myself to the hospital and studied whenever I got time. Eventually dad’s condition improved and he got discharged.

Ironically, just a few weeks later, his condition suddenly relapsed. We immediately got him admitted to the hospital. But this time he showed no sign of improvement and we lost him forever. I was devastated; I blamed the doctors for my dad’s and promised myself to never see a doctor till my death. It was such a tragic moment of our life.
At such a mental traumatic situation, uncle spoke with me and asked me to appear for my exams which were going to start after 6 days from the day my father passed away. It was too hard for me but I got strength from his words. The day came when the results were declared and I passed with good grades. I was eager to share the great news with the person who was responsible for this. I called up on his residence and was stunned to know that he was admitted at a hospital and was battling a rare form of cancer. The news came as if someone shot an arrow to me and I didn’t know what to do. Though I did not like the idea of visiting the hospital but I was keen on meeting him.

Little did I know that it was going to be my last visit! He was sitting on his bed and reading a book. He looked up and smiled at me. I could not hold back my tears. Recently, I lost dad and now uncle was about to follow him. He consoled me by saying that life without events was impractical and that some painful moments were bound to come and go. But we need not stop and hold on to them, life has to move on no matter what. He encouraged me by saying that the doctors were performing chemotherapy and he would be fine soon. He said: “Leave a couple of things on destiny and keep doing what you are supposed to do. Death is just an event and not an ultimate end.”

I was deeply moved by is words. I wiped my tears to accept the mere truth of life that every event in our life shapes us into who we are right now and we should never indulge in blame game.