Six Things you Must Teach your Children by the Time they Turn Fourteen

The significance of how to have a strong social competence or professionally successful persona has been puffed up to the alarming altitude that today we receive compliments and applauds solely on the basis of academic accomplishments, employment success, social status and economic might. We are seldom praised for being a better and responsible person or standing for the truth, or having a powerful moral base in character or behavior.

They (academic achievement, employment success etc.) have importance in their own respect but one shouldn’t be overestimated for the other. Ironically, today, our every conversational turn (at educational institutes as well as at home) eventually takes the road that is called how to be SUCCESSFUL. We are walking the roads without any goal or vision; nor has it been identified or defined by us. The roads we step on are defined by this materialistic world and are meant for improving our social position and financial status. Therefore, our attitude towards giving a strong moral education to our children is underscoring and consistently debilitating that ultimately results into various socially unacceptable behaviors such as crimes and unethical activities.
It is high time we reinforced the importance of ‘teachable moments of VALUES’ (moral values) that has been awfully belittled or ignored. Making a difference for having a better society and positive life outcomes starts with us. Instill the most important fundamental values in them before they start editing themselves mercilessly as per the uncertain modern trends.

1. Honesty

Teaching the value of honesty, integrity, sincerity, and trustworthiness to your children help them develop strong moral character, emotional strength, self-esteem and self-confidence. Children always learn from their parents; therefore, parents have to ensure they implement these sentiments in their lives. Telling story of an honest and greatest personality is another effective way of offering them a frame on how to conduct in their own personal and business affairs. Children find their true identity in the stories or the examples set to them and the consequences are profound. Another efficient way is not to overreact, scold or humiliate them if they lie to you. It is always better to make them feel that there is no harm in telling the truth. Being and honest is more than just telling the truth, it is also the reflection of self-confnidence, self-respect, and fearless personality and strict adherence for having a clear vision of destination.

“The universe does not favor the greedy, the dishonest, the vicious, although on the mere surface it may sometimes appear to do so; it helps the honest, the magnanimous, the virtuous. All the great Teachers of the ages have declared this in varying forms, and to prove and know it a man has but to persist in making himself more and more virtuous by lifting up his thoughts.” – James Allen

2. Consideration for others’ feelings

Taking other’s feelings into consideration and being affectionate and empathetic towards others’ sentiments are all what you need to to build positive relationships. It starts with their parents who can encourage and coach them to be thoughtful and generous towards others. Let them share their feelings with you and sympathize to you when you are not feeling well. Being respectful and compassionate about others ultimately make them feel better about themselves. Being happy for others’ success and happiness unfolds the surge of joy to your life. With these small acts of kindness you motivate others to make the world beautiful heaven to live on.

“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us “universe”, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert Einstein

3. Coaching Emotions, Compassion and Love

We often trivialize the teaching of emotions, compassion and love to our children assuming them to be innately affectionate, loving and generous. We forget that over the course of time these sentiments become just a list of glossary. They fail to retain their innocence and emotions with the growing age. Let you child experience your demonstration of love for your spouse and appreciation of how much their cousins, siblings or grandparents care for them. Hug them, appreciate them and squeeze them and kiss them for no reason and discuss the value of compassion, love and emotions in relationships and life.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ― Leo Buscaglia

4. Justice and Amend

Parents are very much responsible for teaching their children to make amend of their misconducts. They must be taught to apologize for hurting friends and near and dear ones. Encouraging their acknowledgement of their offense, and standing for a justice towards others as well as themselves will help them to remain socially and emotionally attached to the loved ones and develop deep sense of self-respect. ‘I am sorry for hurting your feelings’ is a magical confession that holds them back from the tight grip of dilemma for losing dear ones.

5. Gratitude

Acknowledging the good or anyone’s assistance in your advancement makes the ‘foundation of being better’ and stronger for having the abundance in life and brings immense grace that enlightens your inside. Have you ever felt thankful to the morning sunshine that made your day, or moonlight that made your mood fresh? When you accept the blessings of anything thankfully and give blissfully, every little thing appears to be the wonder.

Help your children develop the habit of being grateful to every little thing that has contributed distinctively in their progress and also for the right things that happened in their lives instead of being sad for the wrongs. Expressing gratitude will help them end up the days with no regret, no justification and no excuse.

“Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.” ~Henry Clay

6. Passion

Nothing can be accomplished without passion and it’s passion that makes the world go round. Passion lies within all of us- may be in slumbering state waiting to be explored. Assist your children to discover their love and passion where they can flourish and become truly accomplished. There are many who can’t live passionately because they were never motivated to ignite their passion or feel the height of cherished aspiration. Sometimes, they can’t find their passion because of the imposed responsibility for pursuing someone’s dream and they live their whole life in rotten bargain of trading their passionate stuff for someone’s happiness. Childhood is the best time to initiate them to go for something they love.

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” – T. Alan Armstrong